My Heart...

...is in Arizona.

Brothers.

At the graveside service, Tanner, Jake, and Mikey were given 3 white balloons. They let them go and we watched them go all the way up to Luke, in heaven. I love Sara in the background. It was a happy moment.

My mom came across this quote and it reminded us so much of these boys and their relationship with each other.

"If your alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you need a brother, I'll just be me." -unknown

But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.

Mosiah 16:8

And As the Story Goes...He Lives Happily Ever After.

Unlike many stories that involve tragedy… mine has a happy ending. In fact, it is so happy that some could say it is a fairy tale.…and the best part? My story is true.

Rewind one week. One week. Our family was at the Denver Rodeo enjoying a fun family day that came crashing down with one phone call. I noticed I had a missed call from Sara and several from my mom. I immediately called Sara back and when Doug answered I knew something bad was wrong. In my entire 30 years I have known my brother, I had never heard his voice like this. In between panic and sobs he pleaded with us to get down on our knees and pray for our sweet Luke. We were on the second floor of the stock show and found the quietest place we could find as fast as we could. With tears streaming down our cheeks our family of four knelt down by the tractors and started to beg for Luke’s miracle.

That afternoon, Sara had put baby Luke down for a nap. She went to check on him 20 minutes later and found his body was limp and he was not breathing. Her motherly instincts kicked in full force and she began giving him CPR. She revived Luke and the paramedics were on their way.

After Luke was admitted into the hospital they were able to stabilize him. He was in critical condition but he was stabilized. The next 24 hours were the most agonizing hours of my life and I know it wasn’t even a fraction of the pain that Doug and Sara were going through. Prayer after prayer, we were so hopeful.

A miracle took place that night. Luke hung on. Despite all the odds that were stacking up against him.…Luke hung on for his mom and dad.

We then received a call from Doug. After all the Doctors had been able to do all that they could for sweet Luke, he had irreversible damage and was not going to make it. My body went numb and I wanted to wake up from this nightmare. No, this could not be happening to my family. Sara was the best mom I knew, from the time the doctors put Tanner in her arms, I knew I wanted to be just like her.

We were on the first flight out in the morning. This can’t be real. The flight was a blur and then we were at Doug and Sara’s house. I ran to Doug and held onto him. I looked up and that is when I saw Sara. We embraced forever. I have never grown to love anyone more than I do this girl. In fact, words cannot describe the love I have for her. With every ounce of my being, I feel connected to her as if we were bonded by steel fibers that are impossible to cut through. I can only imagine what her twin sister, Melissa feels.

From the second I arrived, I could feel the love pour in and the peace that enveloped their family. Act after act of kindness was all that I had witnessed. I was so humbled and learned so much. Every flower, every card, every meal, every bake sale, every hug and tear shed on their behalf means so much.

Saturday came and I’m not going to lie, It was hard. But with opposition in all things it was also one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever been a part of. In fact, it changed my life. In our church we believe in the plan of happiness. And if we do all that we can do keep our promises to Heavenly Father, we know that after this life, we will be able to be with Luke again.

I imagine holding Luke with my arms outstretched above my head and twirling him in a big beautiful green field, immersed with tall blue flowers that sway back and forth in a warm breeze intertwined with the most amazing sunset all around us. Doug and Sara with their boys and the rest of our families will be there. The most intense feeling of love will be present and it will never have to go away. And of all the sweetest and purest images that I can conjure up in my mind, I know it will be even better.

I’m in the running for favorite Aunt. I have some pretty stiff competition and a lot of work ahead of me and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to be with Luke and my family forever. And the reason this story has such a happy ending? Because it is so very possible. Families ARE forever. And Luke will live happily ever after with Heavenly Father, his mom and dad and brothers and all of his extended family and loved ones.

Oh Luke, I sure love you.

Luke James Cardon

October 31, 2010- January 19, 2011

"The Crown Without the Conflict"

Even though this story has a happy ending, my heart is breaking and I am aching for Doug and Sara. Please pray for them.

Number 61!

Cheers to the most HILARIUS thing I have witnessed this year! Out of control flying monkeys trying to learn the game of basketball.

I am looking forward to an interesting season and LOVE watching this kid!

He had his own cheering section at his first game, both sets of grandparents, Uncle Joel and Aunt Lisa, Cole, Cara, Dad, Mom, and Kendall.

We watched in all the confusion and excitement-Nathan sink two shots!

Getting Older is GREAT!

I'm a rare oddity that LOVES birthdays! I also love to document them! So with that being said...

By the time I was finished working out, I came home to a CLEAN and picked up house. Justin had decorated the dining room, complete with place cards and streamers, and my favorite...orange french toast with buttermilk syrup!

After that I had a presidency meeting with another breakfast! Cinnamon rolls, quiche, muffins and orange juice. Delish!

Next was lunch- it's all about the food people! Chick-fil-a with dear friends and cousins, plenty of chit chat and sweaty kids from all that playing in the oven of a playground.

Then it was off to the cake reveal. My sister-in-law had spent her morning making me a cake fit for a queen. She had interviewed me about my favorite things and fit the cake exactly to my personality. A three layered devils food mountain of goodness complete with coconut bits of heaven and a sparkler candle. A great surprise!

Last we met Mammy and Papa at PF Changs, got right in and ate some more! I know this sounds crazy but by the time we got home I still had room for some Angel Food Cake with strawberries and Whip Cream!

The kids came running in with little packages eager for me to open them. Surprisingly, it was not something to eat!

Simple Pleasures.

Giggling over some hot chocolate disusing the days events with your Mammy.

A gift for my little guy that all the money in the entire world could never buy.

Kendall Bug is a SUNBEAM!

Wow! I wish I could say that Kendall transitioned so well, but I can't.

Even though I'm in primary almost the whole time with Kendall, he was not up for leaving his mom and sitting by his teacher, much less going to his class. He is pretty lucky to have Brother and Sister Donaldson to be his teachers, but it's going to take a few more weeks for him to love it.


By the time church was over, all the tears were dried and he was all smiles! Progress.

We went outside to find a surprise of fresh white snow covering everything. It was such a clean and pure covering that I couldn't help but be so grateful and felt we were at the right place at the right time despite bumps in the road!

Learn To Ride A Bike....Check.

I was so excited to find these pictures and video on Justin's phone!

This fall we took the kids with their bikes to our favorite park. Nathan has been trying to learn on a bike that is too big and it's been frustrating for him.

Our favorite park just happens to have short grassy flat surfaces with mild hills. Time after time, either Justin and I would hold his bike and go along side him with each turn ending up in a small crash.

At this park he was able to ride on the grass and get some courage, because even if he fell it would not hurt as much as if he was on the concrete. (Most of the time he wore a helmet, I don't know why he is not wearing it in these pictures- I think I was too excited to care.)

It was time to let go and see if he could do it. He went about 15 feet all by himself! Justin and I were jumping up and down screaming! Nathan was elated!

We took turns running beside him hooting and doing the victory dance with him! Even the other people at the park were getting in on the excitement celebrating with us.

After about 7 good runs, Nathan had a disastrous accident. Yes, he was wearing his helmet. He was going 90 mph out of control and hit a "pothole" in the grass and flipped over Justin's head. I almost passed out watching the whole thing as it happened about 25 yards away. The air was knocked out of him and I was waiting for Justin to tell me we needed to call 911. After the longest 10 minutes he was up and ready for another try.

All was well. Whew, another moment I hope NEVER repeats itself!


We have added this experience to Nathans fulfilling list of firsts.

The First Time In The History of Christmas...

What, you ask, could be a first on Christmas morning?

It was 6:30 am and I could hear someone scurrying around outside the door. When I went to see what was going on, I saw Papa grabbing Nathan and Kendall's legs, saying with as much excitement as a 5 year old, "Guys! Guys! It's Christmas!"

Papa was so excited, HE woke us up!!!

The best part of Christmas morning was watching the boys open their stockings. I learned a big lesson that morning. Kids don't need much to be happy.

The boys had no idea that Santa had left any other toys because they were covered up with sheets. After almost emptying that last bit of the stocking, I asked if that was it? Nathan yelled, "No, there are two more things in my stocking!" Boy were they surprised to see the rest of the unexpected stuff from Santa.

Nathan said with a huge toothless grin, "I didn't get anything I asked for!!!"

It was a fun morning complete with a french toast breakfast and another first: A CHRISTMAS WALK! The weather was amazing and no one even needed a jacket!

The Feastivities Leading Up!

\I have to say that before the actual day of Christmas... is my favorite! All the anticipation, the getting ready for, the planning to the last detail, and my very favorite- joining in the kids excitement. It's magical!

This year was extraordinarily fun. I say this every year, but as the kids get older I want to freeze time, bottle it up, and break out my Christmas bottle of 2010 in 15 years and do it all over!

We spent tons of our time playing games and since GG is the master Game Maker, it was just perfect! Crazy 8s, Candy Land, Slap Jack, Go Fish, Connect 4, Checkers and Dominoes to name a few. The boys ate and slept games, constantly planning their next strategies and moves.

GG even taught Justin and I how to play Cribbage! One more game to add to our guilty pleasures after we put the boys to bed! (Thanks Joann!)

One of my favorite traditions that has been passed down since I was a baby is, Christmas Eve Jammies with a bear!

In fact my mom has become so attached to Doug, Todd and my bears, that I seriously doubt we will ever get them back! Each bear represents a year of Christmas and the memories of that year wrapped up into each one. No wonder, I will probably do the same thing!

Justin took the boys on Christmas Eve morning to Chick-fil-A with his parents and I was left at Mammy's house to help prepare Christmas Eve dinner.

After snitching some goodies and one last call to the North Pole to make sure all the last minute preparations were ready, it was time to eat.

Dinner was excellente and everyone's company was even better! GG, Aunt Cindi, Uncle Todd, and Aunt Martha, Mammy, Papa, Joann, Jackson, and our little family of four.

The boys got into thier Jammies, the candles were lit, the magic reindeer food was sprinkled all over the lawn, Santa's cookie plate was assembled, the Nativity story was watched, and finally the boys were tiered enough to lay in bed with the weight of the blankets holding them down and their ears keenly listening for reindeer footsteps on the roof and the sound of Santa's jingle bells coming from outside.

In the morning, it would be CHRISTMAS!