Always Playin'

Really, it doesn't take much for these kiddos to have fun. A giant box becomes a pirate ship and they are on an adventure out to sea or taking off there clothes they instantly become, "The Underwear Boys," and wave to all the hot air balloons.

A "Mikey" face after a blueberry protein shake. Nothing like this little smile to melt away a bad day!

Doooooog Pile!

I {Heart} Valentines Day!

We put a fun little twist on Valentines day this year. When the boys woke up, they were pretty excited to find the table was decorated with sweetarts, coloring supplies and kits for making their valentines, endless hearts-some with a special message to each one, and some breakfast chocolates.

After eating a yummy, semi healthy breakfast, they ran to get on their shirts with splashes of red for the Valentines party.

The party was a hit. All you have to say is cookie decorating with frosting. Jaycee showed the boys how it was done and bam....uber delicious!

After games, pink punch, and passing out Valentines, everyone was on a major sugar buzz, making that afternoon quite memorable!

When Uncle Doug Babysits....

One evening, Sara and I went to an awesome "Broadway Musical", the Ten Virgins, that was put on by her stake. The night was exactly what we needed to rejuvenate our spirits and give us a little lift to keep going forward.

We stayed for an extra piece of cheese cake drizzled with fudge and a strawberry just to make sure we would be gone long enough for all the kiddos to be tucked away and sleeping soundly in their beds.

Uncle Doug was left in charge. There was no doubt in my mind that the kids were not loving every minute of his watch. Wrestling, competitions, and jokes were probably amoung the few things they did before bed.

Sara and I came home to a house that was absolutely still and quiet. Good call on the extra piece of cheesecake! We went to check on our sleeping angels and to our surprise, found them in their Uncle Doug sleeping positions.

A few we could not find their heads, some were falling off the bed, sweaty, and one had his arm kinked, but...sleeping soundly nonetheless.

We fixed them one by one, laughing, and were extremely grateful we had a night out!

Sweethearts

It was a beautiful day. The sun was warm on our shoulders and all the colors seemed extra bright and vibrant.

We pulled into the cemetery and got out with birds cheerfully chirping as if to greet us. We walked on the soft green grass over to the place where sweet Lukey was laid to rest.

Sara's boys had decorated hearts for Luke and we were lucky enough to be in town for Luke's special delivery. Each child put a heart around the temporary headstone and then they thought some pine cones would finish their creation perfectly.

As the kids were gathering their little tokens of affection, I couldn't help but look around and notice what an amazing place we were at. The sky was a deep blue as the palm trees stretched up to meet it. The flags waved gently in the air as a small breeze whirled our stray hairs out of our faces. A little fountain was bubbling off in another direction and you could smell little wafts of spring grass mixed with the fragrant flowers.

I felt peace fill the ache as I watched this sweet family interact with one another and know that it is only time that separates us from seeing this little angel again.

The Ride That's Not Just For Kids...

These Plasma Cars have got to be pretty fun if they can lure Papa and Uncle Doug to ride em'.

It's pretty funny to see the kids go speeding by but when two grown men start whipping though the back yard, it becomes hilarious!

In fact, they made it look so appealing that when no one was looking, I went for a ride with Mikey, and I just might or might not be getting a few....

A Day at the Park

I loaded the boys up in the minivan while Sara and Melissa ran some errands and off we went to the park. Playtopia in fact.

Playground equipment for all ages and Ravens. Tons of them. And they love to steal your popcorn. And kids are sometimes afraid of them. Because they are big and black and love to steal your popcorn.

Armed with a sleeve of Ritz crackers, popcorn and a gallon jug of water, we played until the couch in the basement was calling our name, for (as Tanner would say) a loooong movie.

Buds.

These two have had quite the time. Don't underestimate Jake because he is usually right there with them!

February....

As my mom would say, this is what forever looks like.

(craft by Erin)

February this year was different. A really good different. The boys and I were able to spend most of it in Arizona.

There were times of excitement and times fun. There was laughing and crying. There were times of quiet and peace (even with a houseful of energetic boys). There were blue bunk bed and rice krispie projects. Times Sara and I shut down Target (which is nothing unusual for her), Time was spent at the park and on bike rides to get the mail, LOTS of time outside with super soakers, in the splash pad and meals on the picnic table. Time I spent getting to know Sara's sisters. There was story time and bath time, but my favorite was all that time we spent together.

My Sara....

When I was a little girl, about 6 years old, I started dreaming of the day I would get to have a little sister. I would lay in my bed at night and think of all the fun things I would do with her. Girl stuff. We would play hopscotch on the sidewalk with giant pieces of chalk. Play house and have tea parties with our dolls. Do each others hair and make up that would go with the perfect outfit, go to the drug store and drink strawberry sodas, tell and keep each others secrets, sneak out of the house, just once, just to see if we would get caught, go to dances together, have slumber parties every night and talk about boyfriends and dream about our future families.

I remember a little ache that would creep into my belly as I would watch some of my friends interacting with their sisters. I wanted one of those so much and sometimes when the ache got bad enough, I would cry and cry until it felt better.

I remember telling my mom (almost everyday) for my desire to have a sister. She told me that there was nothing that she could do about it (she had two miscarriages) and that I better go and pray for one. So EVERY night without fail, I prayed that my mom would be able to have a baby and it would be, a girl.

What I didn't know, at the time, was that my mom had a desire to have another daughter, and when she was born, her name was going to be...Sara.

My prayer was answered when I was 26 years old. On June 25th, 6 1/2 years ago, Sara was born into our Family when Doug married her.

She is everything I dreamed a sister would be. We go shopping, and she tells me what is cute. She shows me all the clearance end caps at every store and introduced me to the Target dollar section. I cannot go into a TJ MAXX or Marshals and not think of her. She makes me feel good about being a mom and gives me tips on how to raise kids- not vocally but by example. I know I say this all the time but she is the BEST mom. She is one phone call away when I am struggling with anxiety and depression and tells me that I am someday not going to have this. She drinks Dr Pepper while I have a Cherry Coke. We go to parks and eat sandwiches and laugh. I have had the most embarrassing moments with her (cute cat!) and treasured moments with her -Luke's Ultrasound.

I feel so deep for her and know it isn't by "chance" that Sara became my sister.

And if I could fix her ache of losing Luke, I would in an inth of a second. I feel the pain for her 1000 times more than I thought was possible and I will be here to carry her for as long as it takes because she is my little sister, and I love her.

Learning...

I have so much inside of me and am finding that the only way to release it, is to write. Bare with my ramblings.

I feel like most everything that has happened since January 19th is so insignificant. I have had a attitude of truth that has erupted inside me and with that being said, it's plain and simple. Life is hard.

I wish so badly that I could take turns with everyone who loves Sara and Doug take this away from them. The first day it would be my turn, then the next day it would be someone else's turn. Each day we take this burden and would lighten this load until one day it was bearable and we could turn it back over to them. I know that this is how the atonement works when we hand it over.

I found a quote on someones blog who lost a little boy. It is a different perspective of time and helped me understand it better.

"If only we could fully PIERCE through time, and sense the eternities in WHOLE, we would see that without time, there is no past, or future, or present. That our little ones have never left us. It really is only time that separates us... "

I love the thought that Luke is around us (especially his mom, dad and brothers) and has never left and that is a comfort.

I am so grateful for tools that we have accumulated in our toolbox to be used in this journey we call life. Some tools we get from past experiences and some tools we may even need to borrow from others. Some tools we need to replace, and others we need to sharpen. Some tools are fancy while others are quite simple. Some tools we pay a hefty price for while others are given to us. Some tools come in the form of family and close friends, and some tools we have no idea how to use until a certain circumstance arises. Soon we get an abundance of tools and eventually are able to share ours with others. By the end of our life, our toolbox becomes one of our most prized possessions and is literally priceless.

I hold one tool precious to me above all others and that is my knowledge and my testimony of the of the gospel of Jesus Christ. That, sprinkled with a dash of sense of humor will help in this mortal journey. It will not take hurt and pain away, but it will lighten the load.

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those that love the Lord will be added unto them in his own way. While it may not come at a time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." -Joseph B. Wirthlin

I am looking forward to that great reunion and will forever anticipate that day of rejoicing.