Nightly Adventures

 I feel like right now, especially at night, I'm living the good ole days.  Each night Justin gets out Fablehaven for Nathan and Magic Tree house for Kendall and reads... for hours. 

The boys get snuggled up in their blankets and sink into an adventure.   I find myself joining the party on the bed here and there.  I gaze around and it seems like there is no care in the world.

Sometimes the boys sit in a box they have transformed into a car and sometimes they lay completely still listening to Justin's soothing voice as they cast shadows on the ceiling with their flashlights.

I always find myself thinking that I wish this phase of life would last forever.

Snow = Hours of Fun

 "I shoveled off the deck.  We made a BIG pile and then we cannon balled in it!  We made snow angels and a snowman.  I super loved loved it!"

-Kendall Age 5 1/2

Green Fun...

 I know St Patrick's Day is a silly holiday but our family loves holidays and any chance we can have to make fruit loop necklaces and try to catch short hairy leprechauns, we are going to take it!

On March 17, we woke up to lots of mischief!  Those leprechauns had turned upside down all the couches and made a giant fort for the boys.  The milk was green, golden Rolos all over, and little green footprints were on windows, counters, floors, and toilets!

We had shamrock stir fry and lucky coconut-lime shakes.

Cheers!!!

Meet Periwinkle...

Last August, Papa was tinkering out in the yard when he discovered a most unusual caterpillar.

He asked the boys if they would like to put some leaves and sticks in a jar and keep it.  The boys were excited and wanted to see if the caterpillar would turn into a cocoon.

To their amazement the very next day halfway up a stick, was a brown cocoon.

The jar was safely placed upon a shelf in the boys room and they would check it every day or so.

SEVEN months later... Nathan came running out of his room and said that the butterfly finally hatched!

Sure enough there was a huge beautiful yellow Swallow Tail butterfly!

Well, here is the second part of that story:

The butterfly hatched too early.  There was a huge snow storm the day it hatched and if let free it would surly die.  So... we have let it have free rein in the house.  We set up a little nectar and food for it on the counter along with a jar full of sticks and leaves. It flutters by the window and crawls here and there but mostly stays by the window sill.

We sure have grown attached to this beautiful butterfly and the boys even named it Periwinkle.  We will wait until the temperature gets a little warmer and set it free but for now we are enjoying this fluttering bit of happiness in the kitchen.

Cupcakes!

We woke up Sunday to quite a snow storm.  We started to get ready for church when we got a call...church had been cancelled!   

We decided we better celebrate and make coconut cupcakes.

 This is how excited the boys were.... Just kidding!

Collecting Memories....

1. The boys and I decided to make homemade marshmallows to go with our hot chocolate during a snow storm.  We ended up with a huge sticky mess and lots of laughs because of the misery it caused.
2. Kendall is a great helper at the grocery store. He likes to carry EVERYTHING so that I don't have to carry one thing.   So when he asked for a ride on the horse I couldn't resist.  Apparently, it was the fastest one in the whole store.
3. A really nice Aunt sent the boys this "squishy baf." SO FUN!!  It was an amazing blue color and felt so cool!
4. Lots of checkers games happening these days.
5. Sometimes we have target practice in the back yard.
6. I love to catch Nathan reading to Kendall and seeing them in the middle of an adventure.
7. We are bubble bath people.  The boys take it to the next level... every time.
8. This cute cousin has been coming over every Monday.  A highlight of our week!
9. A picture during one of our little couch chats.  Love having the boys on my lap talking about everything and anything.
10. This guy...
11. Working together to get the Christmas lights off the house...in March!
12. Creating lasting memories.  Having a Fondue party in the kitchen.
13. Oh, just a sword fight with Papa, the ultimate.
14. Relaxing in a luxurious bath.... again.
15. Snow day.  Way more fun when Mammy comes out to play.
16. Nathan making his famous pickle and chip turkey sandwich...yummmmm!

The Boy I Love....

(I was blacking out like crazy while doing my toes so Justin helped me.)

When I was married almost 12 years ago I remember thinking how could I possibly love Justin anymore than I already do right now?  I remember thinking my heart couldn't hold one more ounce of love, happiness, and pure joy towards him.  I was IN LOVE!

Fast forward to the present date.  I never imagined our life unfolding the way it has.  I had a plan for us and our family and it was amazing, but I learned something.  Someone else had a plan for us and our family and though it's been tough it has brought UNBELIEVABLE joy.

It has stretched my relationship with Justin in ways I never knew existed.  A tight, deep bond has been forged and roots have intertwined so deep that there is no way to measure.  There is no earthly machine that could sever the link between him and I.  It is something great enough to last into the eternities.  Literally, forever.

While I was cracking, he has been solid.  He has let me borrow his faith and let me lean on his testimony.  He has given me healing energy and let me suck out reservoirs of love that have helped me stand. 

I feel so much love towards him that I could burst and if you told me 12 years ago that my feelings for Justin would be stronger, deeper, and more vibrant, I would have replied that there is no way that could be possible.

I was so wrong.

Justin is:

the chalk to my sidewalk

the frosting on my cupcake

the smile to my day

the 4X4 drive in the snow

the dance in the rain

the flutters in my stomach

the calm to my anxiety

the sparkles in my glitter

the french to my dip

the streamers to my party

and

the constant on my journey

(A bit of fun Kendall and I had waiting for Justin to come home from work complete with a Kendall hand print.)

Little Boy Love

 On Saturday we decided to work on Valentine boxes.  I spray painted a hot chocolate and a Kleenex box and added some scary teeth while the boys decked them out with spots, eyes, and a tongue.

They worked on their Valentines for their class at the beginning of the month.  Nathan gave thumb wrestling ones with tattoos of wrestlers that go on your thumb and Kendall decided that he would go for spider man pencil Valentines.

When Nathan got home from school, Kendall and I had the table decorated with hearts, chocolate sprinkle marshmallows, and their new Valentine chair backer bags... that has taken 3 years to make and my sweet friend so graciously ended up sewing.
 

Kendall's Tooth

 Some exciting stuff around here!  Kendall lost his very first tooth!

Justin tied some floss around around the wiggly guy and Kendall gave two yanks.  On the second one, it popped right out. We got it all on video and can't stop cheering for him.

The tooth fairy dumped off some change and Kendall can't stop brushing his teeth.  He wants them all to be white and shinny so that he can get top dollar!

Do I Have Any Faith?

Today, when I woke up, I opened my eyes and evaluated the way I was feeling.  Was today the day that I would wake up and this would be over?

Checking for improvements and hopeful I sat up.  My feet hit the floor and I started to blackout.  I stumbled into the bathroom to put in my contacts, popped them in and got a sinking feeling that pierced my heart.  I felt the same as I did yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that.

Hot little tears started to stream down my cheeks.  The ones that are packed full of every kind of emotion.  The kind that flow from exhaustion and discouragement, the kind that are full of physical and emotional pain. The kinds that are full of gratitude for priceless lessons that have been learned, and the ones that fill up your eyes and start spilling over every time you think of prayers and thoughts that have been uttered in your behalf. A very humbled feeling swept over my pity party and...

I started to question my faith.  Really question it.

Shouldn't I be better than I am by now?

And then I felt really guilty for even questioning this and guess what?  It's not the first or even second time I've questioned.  More guilt. (That dang Satan.)

Almost undoable, I put one foot in front of the other and started going on with my day.  I started to think of all the little things that each of us do every day that requires faith and we don't really even think twice about it.

The first thing I did was turn on the light.  We have to have faith to know that when we flip that switch a bright light will fill the room and help us see.  If we didn't have automatic faith, we wouldn't even bother to turn it on.

What about putting in your contacts?  You have faith that these plastic circles will help you see better. Do you use moisturizer? Faith to help us with our present and future wrinkles.

I fixed the boys cream of wheat for breakfast and passed out the vitamins, having faith that someday in the future these things would help keep them healthy.  I poured Nathan a glass of Gatorade having faith that it would hydrate him after a night of the stomach flu.

I put in a load of laundry having automatic faith that the washer would clean the clothes and they would come out dry when I pulled them out of the dryer.

I chugged a really green juice not thinking about it at the time but automatically having faith that it would somehow heal my cells.

I broke up a fight between the boys, sat down with them and talked it out having faith that if they could "make up" and forgive each other, maybe, just maybe they could be close friends when they are older.

I hit the floor.  It was time for another prayer, another plea.  I prayed hoping and having faith it would be enough to get me through the next hour.

I looked up faith on lds.org and it said this:

"Having faith in Jesus Christ means relying completely on Him—trusting in His infinite power, intelligence, and love. It includes believing His teachings. It means believing that even though we do not understand all things, He does. Because He has experienced all our pains, afflictions, and infirmities, He knows how to help us rise above our daily difficulties (see Alma 7:11-12; D&C 122:8). He has “overcome the world” (John 16:33) and prepared the way for us to receive eternal life. He is always ready to help us as we remember His plea: “Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not” (D&C 6:36)."

Wow.

After reading this I began to ponder the level of my faith. Most days I feel like I'm in Kindergarten.

Faith for some does not come easy.  Just like prayer, it requires work.  Sometimes a lot of work.  But if we are willing it is promised that we can increase our faith.

And I was wishing that my little acorn seed was already a huge beautiful oak tree with strong branches, a wide trunk and thick sturdy roots.

I know I want my faith to grow to be steady and unwavering and unimaginably tangible and exactly like the kind I read about today.

 I have a long way to go but I was able to answer my morning question, Do I have any faith?

Yes, I have the "automatic" kind and a growing acorn's seed worth. 

And now the tears are happy.