My Sara....

When I was a little girl, about 6 years old, I started dreaming of the day I would get to have a little sister. I would lay in my bed at night and think of all the fun things I would do with her. Girl stuff. We would play hopscotch on the sidewalk with giant pieces of chalk. Play house and have tea parties with our dolls. Do each others hair and make up that would go with the perfect outfit, go to the drug store and drink strawberry sodas, tell and keep each others secrets, sneak out of the house, just once, just to see if we would get caught, go to dances together, have slumber parties every night and talk about boyfriends and dream about our future families.

I remember a little ache that would creep into my belly as I would watch some of my friends interacting with their sisters. I wanted one of those so much and sometimes when the ache got bad enough, I would cry and cry until it felt better.

I remember telling my mom (almost everyday) for my desire to have a sister. She told me that there was nothing that she could do about it (she had two miscarriages) and that I better go and pray for one. So EVERY night without fail, I prayed that my mom would be able to have a baby and it would be, a girl.

What I didn't know, at the time, was that my mom had a desire to have another daughter, and when she was born, her name was going to be...Sara.

My prayer was answered when I was 26 years old. On June 25th, 6 1/2 years ago, Sara was born into our Family when Doug married her.

She is everything I dreamed a sister would be. We go shopping, and she tells me what is cute. She shows me all the clearance end caps at every store and introduced me to the Target dollar section. I cannot go into a TJ MAXX or Marshals and not think of her. She makes me feel good about being a mom and gives me tips on how to raise kids- not vocally but by example. I know I say this all the time but she is the BEST mom. She is one phone call away when I am struggling with anxiety and depression and tells me that I am someday not going to have this. She drinks Dr Pepper while I have a Cherry Coke. We go to parks and eat sandwiches and laugh. I have had the most embarrassing moments with her (cute cat!) and treasured moments with her -Luke's Ultrasound.

I feel so deep for her and know it isn't by "chance" that Sara became my sister.

And if I could fix her ache of losing Luke, I would in an inth of a second. I feel the pain for her 1000 times more than I thought was possible and I will be here to carry her for as long as it takes because she is my little sister, and I love her.