The Daily Adventures of the Hillan Family! Justin, Alisa, Nathan & Kendall

(Right before we left for the hospital)

Cardon’s Birthday

December 19, 2015

Justin’s Feelings at the time…. I don’t know the best way to describe my feelings of the short time leading up to Cardon’s birth. The pregnancy was hard for Alisa. I could tell it was really taking a toll on her body and her and that made me feel nervous, anxious and stressed out to say the least. I was also extremely excited as well, because for the first time in 8 years we were going to have another baby!! I have wanted to have another little baby for so long. I had been living vicariously through other people’s little ones as I held them and carried them around.

The day of the birth was a little less crazy than I thought it would be. Alisa’s water broke early that morning and it was just trickling out so it was definitely different than before. We didn’t end up going into the hospital until about 10a.m. that morning. It was a little nerve racking waiting for the time to go into the hospital. Even when it was time to go into the Hospital we were able to take our time because Alisa wasn’t having any major contractions. They hooked her up to a monitor and started monitoring the baby. At one point Cardon’s heart rate went way down and it was definitely scary. I knew though that everything was going to be ok with the baby as I had given Alisa blessings and knew that the baby would be healthy and strong. It was still a little scary though. They continued to monitor her for the next several hours and his heart rate was good to go and never faltered again.

The next several hours were kind of boring actually because I wanted our baby to be here already. We were waiting for Alisa to go further into labor naturally, but I didn’t really want to leave the room, because I knew as soon as I did she would go into labor. She didn’t though and it wasn’t until later that night that she finally started having more steady contractions. In the meantime we had several discussions with the doctor expressing our wishes and letting them know her prior history with everything.

When labor finally started all I could think about was watching the baby’s heart rate which they had a big monitor about the bed. It was great because I could stand next to her and pay attention to both the baby’s heart rate and Alisa at the same time. Time went by pretty quick at that point after getting her on Pitocin her contractions got more regular and she started the process of getting the baby out. The doctor was amazing as she was calm and helped Alisa be calm she also helped the baby come out naturally and not forcing him out quickly or with anything else. This was really helpful as it allowed Alisa to have some relief without tearing. Things went pretty smooth and Alisa was absolutely amazing. She never screamed and even apologized to the doctor because she thought she wasn’t doing exactly was telling her to do. Even the nurse was amazed at Alisa’s composure and her innate good nature. She had never heard or imagined anyone apologizing giving birth.

As soon as I saw his little wrinkly head for the first time I got really excited. I was also filled with such strong emotions for him right off the bat! I think because I knew what a blessing he was going to be in our lives. As he came out and were able to see him for the first time and take his first breath and cry, it was truly and overwhelming feeling. He was so precious and somebody we had been waiting for to join our family for so long. Heavenly Father had finally blessed us with Cardon. After they got him the rest of the way out I got to cut the umbilical cord and stay with him from then on out. They let him hangout on Alisa for awhile and we got to take some fun pictures.

Alisa's version of meeting Cardon...

In life there is an eb and flow of moments. Sometimes moments are tough and you are barely able to put one foot in front of the other and sometimes moments are undescrible and you are able to bask in a glowy love you never thought possible. The moments your children are born are the moments you have forever. The ones you go back to on the good days and the bad.

My water broke around 4:00 am on Saturday the 19th of December. When I woke up and told Justin and excitement filled the room. I didn't feel any contractions like previously when Nathan was born so we just decided to take it easy and not wake up the boys. I was able to take a shower and get ready. I went around the house and picked up a bit for a distraction and Justin began to bring down the hospital bag and prepare to go to the hospital.

We woke up the boys at 8 and told them that today was the day they would meet their baby brother. They could not stop squealing and hugging me. It was sheer excitement.

We took the boys over to Mammy and Papa's and relaxed a bit before I called the hospital. They said to come on in and they would check me to see if my water had actually broken. If it had, I would need to have the baby within 24 hours so that risk of infection would not be a possibility.

I was not having any pain or contractions. I was able to be present and soak in everything that was going on. Mammy hopped in the car with us and we let a few people know we were on our way to have our baby. I had a mix of butterflies and calm moments.

When we arrived the nurses put us in a room where they hooked up the baby's heartbeat to a monitor and checked to see if I was leaking amniotic fluid. The nurse confirmed that I was and we were not going to leave without a baby.

I was going to have a baby today.

A baby boy.

Justin and I were going to get to finally meet our son.

Moments later the heartbeat monitor started to beep and a flat line appeared on the screen. Something was not right. Mom ran out the room to meet a nurse running down the hallway into our room. She had me change positions and the heartbeat started to come back in a rhythm that was normal.

She informed me that I would not be able to labor as I had planned and that there would be an anesthesiologist coming to talk to us in case I needed an emergency c-section.

When she left the room Justin gave me a blessing. Comfort came immediately. I was anxious to get this little boy here. Safe and just here.

I switched into the labor and delivery room.

I looked over and next to me was my favorite thing. A baby warmer with blankets and that little blue and pink hospital hat. That was magic. Soon our little person would be laying in there.

I began to have very mild contractions and things were very slow paced. Justin would watch the monitor behind me and let me know that the baby was doing fine during each contraction.

Martha showed up with her bag of tricks and Mom and Martha went to Costa Vida to grab some food for them and Justin.

I was so thirsty but could only eat ice chips.

The contractions started to get more intense but were all over the place. They could not check to see if I was dilating because they did not want to risk infection and they did not want to start pitocin because my body was being so unpredictable.

Lots of people were called and texted and lots of prayers started. Martha said a sweet prayer out loud and the most intense feeling of warm and peace filled the room.

Then things started to change.

It was defiantly heavenly intervention.

My contractions were smooth and regular.

At 6:00 pm a shift change occurred and we were able to meet the Doctor that would deliver our baby. I immediately loved her.

She had a very "take charge" attitude yet a "let nature take its course" way about her.

Pitocin was started and the contractions began to be very intense.

The lights were dimmed and the new Cinderella movie was on the TV.

It was calm and relaxing and a pretty good distraction in-between contractions. The movie ended and It was getting very intense for me for about an hour. My body was responding and getting ready to have a baby. I was in a lot of pain. I just closed my eyes and very quietly concentrated while Justin and Martha held my hands.

Justin's hands were strong while Martha's were comforting and Mammy offered a constant stream of encouragement. I needed that combination.

I felt pressure and a "pushy" feeling and they called in the nurse. She checked me and said I was a 10.

The room began to buzz around us and the Dr came in to check me again. She said I was only a 6 but because the baby was so low she would wait for two more contractions and check again. Inside I was trying to figure out how I could stand the in-tenseness of the contractions to become a ten.

When she checked me after those two contractions she said I was now a ten and I could start to push the baby out.

He was turned on his side and was having a hard time getting past my pelvic bone. It was pretty exhausting and I just tucked into a ball. I had to really work to get his head down.

Once his head was down she told me to stop pushing and let the contractions work the baby out. She was calm and gentle and I felt safe.

He was out in two more contractions.

His squishy face was darling. He would not open his little eyes and kept them squinted shut. He was adorable and perfect. He was cuter than I had ever imagined and I could instantly feel his sweetness. He was a ball of pink and all I wanted to do was kiss him. I kissed his wet head and breathed in him and that was it... I fell hard in love for the third time. That feeling never gets old and oh, to go back.

I loved watching Justin and his permanent smile. He was in full proud dad mode. Love was spilling out from his eyes and I loved that I could see that.

Mammy was trying to figure out who he looked like and kept squealing about how cute he was.

Soon after Papa had brought in his older brothers. I did not cry when they met each other instead I had a very calm feeling of "this feels so right" and "how did I get so lucky?" I finally had all of my boys together. I could of watched them smile at that new baby forever.

Pretty soon it was time for our sweet, new baby to get his first shot. A vitamin K shot. Kendall sobbed and sobbed as his new brother cried. Nathan was sick to his stomach. Their hearts were aching and I knew from that second that those brothers had a strong bond and would always be thick as thieves.

It was getting late and everyone soon trickled out. We were moved to a room across the hospital and I was able to hold my little bundle right next to me for the rest of the night. That night was a fairy tale ending and the moment is one that I will go back to often.

The day I got to meet a miracle.